You Don't Own Me

Why have I had this phrase stuck in my head all day?

I feel like I've been pushed too far.
As much as a people pleaser as I am, I still have lines.
And I think they've been crossed.

All I know, is I have come too far, to retrace steps.
I refuse to go back.
So I'll do what it takes to keep myself sane.

No more sinking low.
I want better.

Tarnished

And what was left behind was tarnished and cold,

a lackluster shell of what had been.

"I don't want this one," she said.

"But look," he replied, "it just needs to be polished."

--------------

today, i took a picture, because i could, not because i had to.


and then i stood still and admired someting beautiful.

Alka-Seltzer

I arrived to class the other morning and said to my friends, " You guys, have you ever taken alka-seltzer? It is like the biggest pill, and I am so bad at taking pills...it was awful."

Silence.

I look up to find their eyes on me, brows quirked.

"You know you're supposed to put those in water...right?" One says.

I pause as that sinks in.

"WHAT?" I can feel the heat rising in my face.

Everyone is falling over laughing and I'm pounding the table, "Wait, will it still work?? I need this medicine, will it still work??"

And then, it occurs to me... I may not be as stupid as I feel.

I say, "You guys... no... it's the gel tablets. Not the regular ones! I'm not THAT stupid..."

Then of course we burst out laughing all over again...because the sad thing is, I could see myself doing that :)

the Meaning of Turquoise

Turquoise, is my Happy Color.

Earrings
to
Shirts
to
Headbands
to
Shoes
to
Rings.

I wear it everyday just because it makes me smile.

So when my teacher handed out a color code sheet today, I immediatley looked for my color. I couldn't love the description more:

Healing, spirituality, mystical, exotic.

How amazing is it that turquoise means healing?
and on top of that spirituality?

Maybe I've always like turquoise because it's been like wearing a little piece of myself on the inside, on the outside :)

(My friends here call me Turq, by the way. "Your description fits you," one told me. Good to hear <3)

satan goes for the bruises

Satan goes for your bruises,

your weak spots,

your half healed wounds.

He likes to break you open -

just to watch you bleed.

Because Satan's a jerk like that.


This morning I am spiritually sore,

mentally worn out.

I'm sitting here, staring out of a 2nd story window without a thought or a feeling, taking in the fading trees and silent lake.

I keep coming back to this verse:
"He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners..." (Isaiah 61:1)

Satan may bruise, and he may break, but he cannot destroy what is God's.

Transparency

All I keep thinking is:

.....When they look at you,

do they see Him within?......


When I'm at school, I try to smile,

to laugh

to make others laugh.

to be friendly,

and most importantly,

genuine.


I'm a transparent person - I can't hide who I am from you.

I just hope when you look through, it isn't really me you see at all.

*i'm trying to be the person I want people to be for me*

Meet: The Boy

Meet my new guy!

(His dark features and rugged good looks make my heart go boom.)

His name?

I usually just call him Sexy Beast.

We work really together - and the best part is he does whatever I tell him to.

And I hate to admit it, but I just can't keep my hands off of him!

I know we haven't been together very long, but I can already tell this is going to be a serious relationship.

=P