Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Know Who You Are

When I get down on myself I catch myself saying, "I know what I am."
As in, I am nothing special. I am ugly. I am disgusting.
If I pretend like I already know it, other people can't hurt me with it.

I just get to hurt myself.

But today I stopped myself. And I told myself the truth - even though it sounded hollow in my own ears.

Now I'm going to tell you... in case you've forgotten:

You, are a beloved child of God.
You may be broken and bitter,
afraid and jaded --

but even with all of your scars.
You, are worth loving.
You, are treasured.


Sunday, December 26, 2010

i heart chubbies

Chubby Babies that is ;)

although lets be honest -- all things chubby just kinda make me happy!

Saturday, December 25, 2010


a heart spilling over
and yet never really full

smiles pasted
over tears

a strange kind of
tainted happiness

this christmas is bittersweet,
pressing against the back of my throat.

...i keep waiting for you to walk through the door.

Monday, December 20, 2010

You bleed, I bleed

I catch your cologne lingering on my shoulder -

can still feel the coolness of your leather jacket against my cheek.

I tried, tried to soak up your sadness,

grab hold of your pain.

I held you as tight as I could -

and still felt you breaking into pieces.

When you bleed, I bleed.

Sunday, December 19, 2010


I've known Brent for about 12 years now - our families have been great friends since way back when. It's funny growing up next to a boy and then looking over one day and realizing he's become a man. But Brent's become one amazing guy.

Brent's been like a brother over the years - giving me rides home from band, teasing me about boys, hanging out at church functions. But when I think of how Brent's impacted my life, one night in particular stands out in my mind.

My brother Caleb and Brent and I were sitting together at a church dinner and Caleb was in one of his classic pessimistic moods - ranting about how marriage wasn't worth it and love didn't exist.

I sat there with a sinking feeling in my chest. "He's right." I thought. "All guys are the same and they only want one thing. I'll never find a guy who actually loves me."

That's when Brent started to talk - about his girlfriend and how he loved her. How when it's right, you just want to be with them. All the time. And how the hard parts are worth it. And you just want to make them happy.

And as he kept talking I felt the sinking feeling unraveling into a breath of relief. For the first time in a long time I believed: good guys exist.

Two nights after that conversation, Brent would ask his girlfriend to marry him -
in fact their wedding was yesterday.
And it was one the truest, most genuine ceremonies I've ever been to.

Brent inspires me to love without fear. To believe giving - and receiving love - is worth the risk. Every time.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Dear Bubba,

Sometimes I almost forget how much I miss you - and then suddenly it's sitting on the kitchen table, staring me straight in the face.


When you come back you can have all the hugs you want, even if that means letting you in my bubble. (=P)
You can borrow my stuff
And annoy me on purpose.

I won't even care.

I just can't wait to have you home.
I hope you know how proud I am of you.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

How to make a Delicious Day

1.Start out with a whole lotta this girl ----->
2.Add a hint of striped knee socks
3.and a pinch of rockstar energy drink
4.Mix well with music and easy conversation

After awhile

5.Stir in boots with the fur. Turquoise ones that is.
6.and throw in a little black dress while you're at it.
7.Sprinkle with laughter
8.Serve with a side of "150 things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts." ;)

You'll go to sleep with the taste of a delicious day on your tongue. Mmmmmm.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

just as beautiful

your Past
lives behind a transparent wall.

You can see it -- right there,
but you can't go back.

your Future
is obscure,materializing as you go.

change made you leave
what was good --

It's so hard to walk foward,
but I promise it will be just as beautiful.

Monday, December 13, 2010

::because you Are::


"How Beautiful you are my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!"
-Song of Solomon 4:1

Sunday, December 12, 2010


There are so many people in my life who encourage me and inspire me to have hope. Starting today, on a weekly basis, I'm going to write about one person who inspires me to keep going!

I'm starting out with my dearest friend Ashley Deblizen (or A-debilz as our friend calls her) -- I had plans to see her today, but the horrible weather got in our way. (Thanks a lot crappy MN roads!)

I don't think there are words true or strong enough to describe my friendship with Ashley. She has seen me in my darkest, lowest moments and still continues to find something worthwhile in me. No matter what I say, or what I do, she understands. There is never the burden to be anything else than myself.

Ashley's gone through a lot of pain. And she still has her own battles to fight. But she still manages to be the friendliest, most giving person I know. I love her gift to think of others before herself.

I don't know how many times I've wished I could be more like her. Her strength amazes me - she works so incredbly hard and has accomplished so much. I know no matter what she ends up doing, she will be an immense blessing to those around her.

Ashley inspires me to fight. To grow, even when it hurts. She inspires me to want the future, instead of fear it.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

It's MN. It's what we do.

pounds and pounds of freezing powder sugar piled up, my boots sinking up to my fur rimmed calves.
of all days to wear a dress and tights.

but somehow i still manage to climb the intimidating snowdrift and pose, hands on hips, for mallory below with the camera.

and why not? it's minnesota. it's what we do.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

My Concern

Every 30 seconds, another person becomes a victim 14,500-17,500 women & children are trafficked in the U.S. every year
For an assignment, we were asked to photograph and research a concern.
I chose Sex Trafficking.
The abuse and degradation of women and children infuriates me.
And someday I want to use my photography to help the organizations working against it.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Finals are Evil

A week and a half and then we're FREE people!

Finals are currently kicking my butt, so I'm sorry for ignoring all of you, I miss you :)

On the up side, my shooting assignments are done for the week!! Now all I have to is study. Good TIMES.

I can't wait to show you all some photos from my concern assignment...hopefully in the next couple days.