There is Calm

A few nights ago I found myself laying in bed,

tears creasing my face as I thought, 

"I don't think I can do this God. I don't know if it's worth it." 

I was worn down

worn out

worn through. 

And then, I was reminded, by my good friend Pastor Teske,

of my healing - 

of my identity, a beloved daughter of God,

who's been rescued and set free {thank you Jesus}. 

So again,

I said a prayer,

to chase out the Lies, the Self Hate, the Oppression,

and asked to be filled with His Love, His Peace, His Security. 

I have just spent the last 24 hours free of any negative thoughts -

no fear,

no anxiety,

no abusive self talk. 

For the first time in a long time,

there is calm.