Fake it til Now

About a year and a half ago [see here] I wrote about trying to be the kind of person I want to be -
a person who laughed a lot, who leaned towards positive, and made people feel loved.

When I went to school, to work, I locked away insecurities and negativity, for later, for myself
and pulled my smile out of my pocket for others.

It wasn't a lie, just a version of myself that didn't match my insides --
I was going to fake it until I made it, whenever that would be.

Then today, talking to a friend, I realized
somehow that mask I slipped on every morning,
had become a second skin.

Somewhere along the lines, while I pretended to be that girl,
a part of me became that girl,
still an owner of insecurities and anxieties,
but more so a goofy, quirky, hopeful girl.

Who knew--
eventually, you actually do "make it"