Fake it til Now

About a year and a half ago [see here] I wrote about trying to be the kind of person I want to be -
a person who laughed a lot, who leaned towards positive, and made people feel loved.

When I went to school, to work, I locked away insecurities and negativity, for later, for myself
and pulled my smile out of my pocket for others.

It wasn't a lie, just a version of myself that didn't match my insides --
I was going to fake it until I made it, whenever that would be.

Then today, talking to a friend, I realized
somehow that mask I slipped on every morning,
had become a second skin.

Somewhere along the lines, while I pretended to be that girl,
a part of me became that girl,
still an owner of insecurities and anxieties,
but more so a goofy, quirky, hopeful girl.

Who knew--
eventually, you actually do "make it"

just a Tuesday

Prepping for a photo shoot!! 

(last one of my season series..yay!) 

Competition prints 3/4 done,

Portfolio mostly picked out,

 internship falling into place. 

and still sane. 

=) 

sunrise

I like the way the sun hits my wall in the morning...

I'm in a good place right now,

which makes it hard

when people I love,

aren't. 

It's hard to realize,

you can't be enough for

everyone,

all the time. 

Sometimes you have to watch from the side

while they fight their battles,

instead of fighting for them. 

Pet Peeve

When there is only one working dryer in the whole apartment building,
you can't let laundry sit in there for 4 hours,
you just can't, ok??

...I  needed to say that to someone
=)

too Lazy to be Cute

If I cared a little bit more, I could probably be a cute girl, you know, the one with perfect hair?

But...I don't, so I'm not, and that's just fine, because I get to sleep a little longer in the morning! 

However, I have been trying to do some different things with all this hair lately -

especially now that my straightener is broken.. Good Times. 

[first off, excuse this photo...I'm a dork...and obsessed with photobooth]

Braids are my go to, especially the fish tail, because it looks like you made an effort...

with out actually making one =) Back comb the top and you're good to go! 

This still needs some work, but finally pulled off the milkmaid braid [kinda]

Again, I back comb for some volume or I look bald...

[oh, and do you see my blonde streak going through?? me like...]

and: The Poof. I am all kinds of lazy when it comes to washing my hair --

which is why dry shampoo has become my best friend! 

Rat out every inch of your hair, pile it on top, and you're good to go. 

the bigger the better, ya know? =P 

invisible words say the most

Why is it easier to write when times are hard,
when hearts hurt?

Where's the craving for words when days go well,
 smiles stay put?

Perhaps we write when it's turmoil,
because we're trying to wring it out,
make it stop,
run it dry.

and Perhaps we don't when we're content,
because we're trying to savor the taste,
the enjoyment,
soak it all in.

I suppose, sometimes, a lack of words,
speaks loudest.