Hearts offbeat

I need to recapture my heart,
reach and grasp and tuck
it away, down deep inside my chest.
Teach it to beat steady again -

when you fill it up with shallow things,
 it's bound to lose its rhythm.

I hear the irregularity when I talk to my brothers,
our common desire to be loved,
to love,
and our shared inability to
Wait, to have patience.

Like eating sand,
when our mouths beg for water,
I watch us pour in affection, lust, and meaningless words
that only make the aching space grow.

Our hearts are offbeat,
and there's only one kind of Love
that can make it go steady,
only one kind of Love
that can satisfy this thirst.

HIS.

"and in Christ you have been brought to fullness" -Colossians 2:10

This is what life looks like...

When you  spend an hour braiding bracelets...

and then you get your butt kicked by Carli at speed... 

and she tries to feel bad about it...and fails horribly...

(I would like to point out one of the many reasons I love Carli is because of her adorable Anime eyes!! cute right?? haha)

The day you became Great

Yesterday  I heard my own voice saying, "You'll never amount to anything," and I thought, would you say that to your friend?  Of course I wouldn't. So I gave myself the challenge of writing a letter to myself, as if I were writing it to a friend. Sometimes, you have to practice speaking kindly to yourself...

I'm sharing this, in case you need to hear it, in case you need to be reminded of how wonderful you already are!

_______________________________________________________________________________

Dear Friend,

I know you’re scared. I can feel the trembling in your words, the anxiety hovering between syllables. You’re scared that you’ll never accomplish anything or be proud of yourself.

You’re afraid you’ll never be anything “Great”.

I understand, but at the same time, I can’t believe you don’t already know.

You became great the day you said good-bye, stood strong as they left your heart beating a little slower. You watched them go, a melting mess of salty tears and tired skin, and refused to crumble.

And after, when Grief and Emptiness pounded at your doors, held their hands up to the windows in offering –you shook your head and covered your ears, fought their friendship even as your felt alone.

You became great when you accepted your identity as a beautiful child of God, instead of defining yourself by the scars that littered your life. You scrubbed the lies off of your heart and clothed yourself in Truth: “you are treasured, you are loved, you are Enough.”

Or what about when you finally gave your dreams up to God? You, so full of control, for once trusted someone other than yourself. Remember the awesomeness of seeing what He could do when you just let go??

You became great when you realized it’s not about the amount of perfection you can offer, but rather, about the gift of grace God extends to you. You learned to breathe without guilt and shame again. What a wonderful thing…

Everyday, I watch you take a step forward instead of staying still. No matter how slow the progress, you have changed, grown, and matured. And I am so proud.

You, my friend, are already something “Great”.

It’s only a matter of opening your eyes and seeing it.



With or Without Makeup

It's funny how quickly we become accustomed to summer,
weather so hot the hairs along the back of my neck curl
and there's a perpetual drop of sweat in the hollow of my throat.

It's nice to work at a place, where they love you
with or without your makeup.
And that's sayin somethin...

Avoiding Heatstroke

It's hard to come home from vacation no matter what,
but it doesn't help when you come home to
a notice that rent is being raised
and a broken air conditioner.

Thank goodness for friends who let you crash at their house so you don't die of heatstroke.

My prayer tonight is to remember the things I enjoy about Willmar -
I so easily focus on the bad memories,
but I have to remember, there will be moments I'm going to miss.