Head in the Clouds::July

Here's what's hangin on my "inspiration mobile" these days =)

.. I adore this picture of my parents..

..my camp friends, a constant source of joy..
..something i'm horrible at remembering..

..a card from my parents..
..teal buttons I found at an antique store!..

Glass half full?

It's been a trying day, in a long week, and I do believed I used up my last drop of patience around 10 am.

Shame.

However, while reading my morning news , they told me I should think happy thoughts, and start being a glass-half-full kind of girl, if I want to be happier. (The article was kind of a waste to be honest ... wait... I think that was a glass-half-empty kind of a comment..)

So while I gritted my teeth and banged my head against walls earlier, I took the time to compile a list of the 'the good things'

• co workers I can count as friends


• my turquoise headband. that matches my turquoise work shirt =)


• free episodes of House


• new music

So they're little things. But hey, it's progress.

Not bad, for a glass-half-empty kind of girl ;)

and then there were Six

Six became an ugly word
that day in the customs line,
when the lady, without looking up
asked how many we were.
We gazed at dad as he paused,
red eyes leaking at the seams.
 six, he replied,
the word straining in his throat.
It felt a lie,
hovering around our faces,
because we still felt you in our hearts.

Even now, when they ask me how many we are, and I feel myself skipping over where your name should be, I whisper it to myself -

Some spaces aren't meant to be filled.

It's Too Hot For Anything Else

I could count on one hand the number of times my hair's been down since summer's started.

Nightshift

I don't mind working by myself,
usually stuck among my thoughts as it is.

But then there was that phone call to Mom
on break

And she got that drop of worry in her voice,
"You're there...by yourself?"

I laugh,
because she's being ridiculous

Until I catch myself
looking over my shoulder

Watching blackened rooms
out of the corner of my eye and

Suddenly I can't stop thinking about the guy
freshman year

Who stood outside the window
in a choir robe and clown mask

or How much I really hated that mask
and you know, I've never really like the dark...

Nightshift - it's a risk.

When I Get to the End

We took the youngest kids to the nursing home this morning,
to find a "friend" and work on a project -
which ends up being the kids coloring and
the elderly watching with content little smiles.

I found myself watching them,
big eyes and freckled skin
next to crepe paper wrinkles
and rounded shoulders.

Life must go so fast -
and maybe you don't even notice until you get to the end.

I just hope when I get there, I'm proud of the memories I made.

She came Home

Last night, we went out on the boat in the dark, slipping onto the water as lightning trembled at the horizon. As we sat among bruised shadows, something welled up against my heart, so soft and good, it ached. It was the memory of myself, before I got lost in the desperation of change.

I came home.

Best Weekend in a Long Time

Life is beautiful -

hope you're enjoying it =)