Wednesday, March 30, 2011

worth a thousand words

Some friendships just can't be put into words


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

being Productive. Me?

commercial: Shallow Depth of Field

and photoshop: retouch
Sleeping in vs. Getting Homework done....
Homework won =)
Life's been stressful lately,
it feels good to check some things off the list.

Just thought I'd share

Monday, March 28, 2011

thought of the day

thought of the day: it's really hard not comparing yourself to every single person around you.

Her work is better than mine
He's smarter than me
She's way prettier

But you know, those thoughts don't get me anywhere, they just bring me down. The only person I should be comparing myself to is... Me. Has my work improved? Am I trying my hardest? What can I do better?

Of couse, easier said than done -- as always.

Well, I guess I'll go work on that ...
In the meantime, I'll leave you with this slightly creeper picture of me...

Saturday, March 26, 2011

the weekend i was looking for

this morning
i slept
until i didn't need to.

no alarm.
no responsibility.
no worry.

just woke up breathing
and felt good about it

Monday, March 21, 2011

breathing's overrated

we're drowning in a sea of photoshop
suffocating in a land of photo shoots

but who needs to breathe?

{today my, uh, "serious" professor -
he laughed...
out loud.
kind of magical =P.}

Sunday, March 20, 2011

experience it

we danced in the middle
a waltz, or something like it,
to salsa music
so perfectly awkward
next to their flawlessly swaying hips,
and they smiled as we tried.
the song changed
and they all came out
to the dance floor
feet stepping
and arms pumping
and we kept on dancing
even as we stood out.

just for the experience

Friday, March 18, 2011

Note to Self


written bold across my chest
in hopes it will
sink into my anxious heart

written loud
to drown out the whisper
"he will get tired of you"

i know you're tired of fighting the same old fight,
only because i know i am too-
but it's spring
and we can breathe deep.
we are stronger than we think.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

wait for this

the one
who waits
for you
to pull shards
out of old wounds
you let scar
so you can
finally be whole

and holds your hand
when it hurts to do so

Sunday, March 13, 2011


My first friend at Concordia,

she tied a bandana around my arm
and I promised to bring roses to her funeral

she had my sense of humor
and a smile like pop rocks

Alicia was the color of life
that bounced into my room

full of stories,
grin constantly quirked.

I still miss our afternoon naps
those quiet, still moments

and episodes of Friends
when my heart needed settling

She is never ending optimism, an eager celebration of life.

my "olympia" inspires me to laugh because I can, to live just because I'm alive -
She shows me how to find the sun on the cloudy days,
and how to be the Kylee I've always dreamed of being.

Saturday, March 12, 2011


the snow rose up
frozen sand
a wild
violent dance.
and i stopped
waiting for the
road to
i watched
as it ran
across fields
waist high
and stole the breath
out of the night sky.

in the distance i found
a streetlight
and headed towards.
all though invisible
the road still remained.
all though distant
the light was real.

Friday, March 11, 2011

for Keeps

the thing is,
you can't stop once you've started.
even as the needle is scraping across your bone,
and you're holding your breath.

but i loved it that much.

i held isaac's hand,
even after it went numb
to make up for lost time.
my artist had bed head and a
baby girl with the chubbiest cheeks.
she layed passed out on the couch
and i smiled because of her
even as it burned.

because i loved it that much.

the thing is,
we're family. no matter where we be.

Heaven. Earth. America. Iraq. Minnesota. South Dakota.

Some things you can break.
but not Us.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

only a Brother

Caleb: He's lying to you

Me: Excuse me?

Caleb: You're not fine the way you are...

Me: *jaw drops*

{mom punches caleb}

Me: I'm not THAT fat

Caleb: Oh! Yeah, you're fine - I thought we were talking mentally

{I fall off my chair laughing}

Monday, March 7, 2011

::267 days::

23,068,800 seconds
384,480 minutes
6,408 hours
267 days

and i would wait longer, if i had to,
just to have your hug back.

Welcome home, Bubba.

Sunday, March 6, 2011


I may not be a natural

or even that talented

But when I play, I hear the song I can otherwise never find

After we lost Bryan, my desire, my love for piano faded.

Alot of things faded.

But now, I'm rediscovering the craving.

To create. To learn. To live.

Friday, March 4, 2011

they are that feeling

You know, we complain the whole time about how much we hate this drive....
but honestly?
I think it's when we've had some of our best talks.
That feeling,
when your heart pushes out of its seams?
My family is that feeling.

Thursday, March 3, 2011


I remember when I went away at 18, my first time to college.
And I had to go 2 months without seeing my little brother

It felt like an eternity.

And now I've gone 8 whole months without seeing that awesome kid!
Thankfully, that's all about to change --
in a matter of days

eternity is about to end =)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

crop circles

I'm reading "the perks of being a wallflower"

and i love charlie {main character}

because he thinks. All the time.

and I get that.

My brain has permanent grooves,

crop circles of thoughts, worn smooth.

I'm trying to shake the sting of your words,

although why they hurt is undecided --

because they were true?

or because i'm afraid of them being so?