Sunday, May 30, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I'M GONNA BE ... COMING HOME!
I just can't believe it, this is surreal. I feel as if I've been here a life time, and yet, didn't I just finish packing to come here??
This song has been stuck in my head all day long...apparently because the only part of it I could remember is the melody and "...coming home with YOU." After I looked up the lyrics I realized this really has absolutley nothing to do with my situation...but...we're just going to pretend like it does =) Besides, these guys are so freaking attractive, who wouldn't want to watch this video?! Off to pack!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
there are occasional words, snippets of stories and shared jokes, but mostly just the tapping of keyboards and music stirring in the background.
earlier, there was a time of worship, a time of ministry, a time of tears, and a time of hugs. this same room, holding only two, just hours earlier, held 18. there was prayer, questions seeking out the heart of God, and His answers, revealed in scripture. there was healing, spoken through the mouths of servants broken themselves. there was hope shared, handed from one scarred soul to the next.
and there were the words of a song, "my name is graven on his hands," the visual of two hands so large, tattooed with the names of all the children of God.
as i sit in this room, now emptied, now quiet, I revel in the knowdlege...My Savior, He can move the mountains. My God is mighty to save!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Some of the things on my list:
-making new friends
(and working, obviously, but that happens every summer haha)
But as I get closer to going home, I realize, this summer, more than anything, I want to learn to live without fear. For so long, I've let fear and anxiety bind my chest, keeping me from breathing, keeping me from truly living. The older I get, the faster time goes. My life is a gift and I don't want to waste it. Besides, if my God is greater and stronger than anything else, why I am letting Fear dictate my life??
And so, another list for this summer. To give up:
-fear of losing someone
-fear of being unloveable
-fear of guys
-fear of insincerity
-fear of failure, of never being good enough
-fear of the future
I know these fears won't simply disappear, but I'm ready - to live under God's rule, instead of the enemies.
"With an ember of hope
And a desire to breathe,
I want to learn to live,
I need You to show me how."
Monday, May 17, 2010
I spent this last weekend out in the country with some aunts and uncles and cousins, soaking up the moments we shared, knowing they'd have to last me awhile. My family (on both sides) may be a little rough around the edges and we've far from perfect, but by golly, we love each other. We're loyal, we're loud, a little bit crazy, and a whole lot of funny! :)
I loved the lazy afternoons with Aunt Nan, listening to her stories (it's so interesting to discover the person someone was before you knew them!) I loved riding the motorcycle with Uncle Glen, the wind beating against my shoulders and the sun soft on the horizon. I loved realizing my younger cousins look up to me and all the inside jokes we created. I loved hugging my cousin Jason and Uncle Kent, the first time in so, so long!
But most of I just loved knowing I was loved.
Friday, May 14, 2010
I'm across to the other side of the room in about 2 seconds. "WHY IS THERE A SPIDER ON THE COUNTER???" Apparently, the girls found him in the living room, and Riley thought if she showed her parents what kind of GROSS, GIANT spiders lived in their house, they'd be motivated to do something about it. Frankly, I don't think they cared. But I sure did.
When I woke up this morning, Larry (Riley named him) was still on the counter in the bag and very much alive. I decided everybody wasn't going to go off to work/ school and leave me alone with the spider. Sure, he was in a bag, but everytime I looked at him, it was like he was saying, "Oh yeah, there's more of me ALL OVER YOUR HOUSE."
So I told Riley I was killing her spider and when she didn't protest, set out to do the deed. First, I set a jug of milk on him. It injured him, but he was still crawling around, so I picked up the closest thing, a Bible, and BAM....Larry was a beautiful ball of guts. Finally.
Then, Mac (the 9 yr old) walked into the room and asked me why I'd just murdered one of God's creations. I told him Larry had talked smack to me, and I just couldn't let that fly...
So Larry is dead and I don't feel the least bit bad....but now I'm afraid to sit in the living room (the only place you can get internet) unless I'm in the center of the room. This way, I can see all angles at all times...because I'm sure Larry's family is out to get me now...
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
I'm sitting at the library, quickly running out of time, and feeling rather guilty because my keyboard is so loud. No really, typing should not be this loud. Next thing you know a librarian is going to be angry at me, and there is nothing worse than an angry librarian...they make you feel so bad about yourself without ever raising their voice.
Anywhoo. I'm just letting you know that I don't have internet at the house currently. So if it feels like I've disappeared...I kinda have.
Is it really sad that going a day without internet drives me crazy?? I am just way to used to hopping on facebook to tell a friend something random, or uploading pictures for everybody to see, or googling - oh good gracious do I miss google. I look up 100's of random things a day. I also miss youtube. No new music for me.
But! Happy News: I am home in 18 days!!
My mind still can't comprehend it, but I can't wait. I hate to say goodbye to all the lovely Texan people, but am I EVER excited to see all you Minnesotans!!
Okay, well, I'm sure I'll be back to the libary this coming week, just to check up on ya'll. (Hopefully with a less annoying keyboard though...) Until then, text me or even call me, haha, but we all know how I am with phones!
P.S. OH MY GOSH. i just looked down at my arms and they are bright red. Apparently, when George said you can burn fast, he wasn't lying. That's what I get for watching little league for 2 hours...
Monday, May 3, 2010
Today, we're spread out. Some still at Concordia, some, myself included, in other states. I don't get to talk to them on a daily basis or know all the little details of their lives - and that's hard. I miss that closeness. But it's ok, because, like family, these girls love me unconditionally, no questions asked.
It's as if, when I left concordia, I left a little piece of my heart with each of them. And when we're back together, they all just click into place, like puzzle pieces. I love knowing that no matter how far I am from them, no matter how much time passes between our visits, we will always be Us.